Boston man thinks his fiancée’s parents might have committed financial fraud — now worried about signing marriage papers. Here’s what Dave Ramsey called their actions

Torn between family pressures and conscience

Ramsey thinks Cody’s future in-laws were applying for Federal Pell Grants, typically reserved for undergrads in serious need of financial assistance. Unlike student loans, Pell Grants do not have to be repaid.

Ramsey finds it abhorrent that anyone would pose as poor to receive aid that is actually intended for students who are legitimately struggling.

“This guy has no ethics, he’s willing to lie to the government to get poor people’s student assistance,” Ramsey said.

To add to Cody’s dilemma, his future father-in-law asked him to sign a prenuptial agreement. Cody said he wasn’t comfortable signing and combining assets with the man.

“That’s why you got slime on you and wanted to take a shower after you met him,” Ramsey said.

The entwining of family finances, he warned, “is not healthy.”

“You can’t prenup away a lack of ethics.”

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Building a ‘standalone life’

Ramsey advised Cody to stand his ground and build a “standalone life that doesn’t involve something that’s unethical.”

The finance guru acknowledged that Cody’s fiancée could suffer, caught between loyalty to her father and her future husband. Ramsey encourages a careful approach.

“You can be gentle and kind, and don’t have to accuse him,” Ramsey said. “Don’t call him names. You could say, ‘I got some counsel because I was confused about it and it bothered me.’ Take all the weight of the problem on you and say you can’t go forward with this.”

He added that Cody could also tell his future in-laws: “All of my understanding of setting up a household is we are to leave and cleave to set up our standalone household to be able to have a high-quality relationship with your daughter.”

Ultimately, Ramsey stressed, Cody’s fiancée needs to “realize what’s going on. You can’t cave, because it condones everything.”